reticence.net

9-9-01 | realization

i am really tired. i am weak, i am weary, and i cannot do this by myself. i think that we all know this. i am not the only one to come to this realization. i think that we all come to it eventually. there are proactive independents that think that they can make themselves, but i disagree. we are made by exposure. by the hands of circumstance, the hands of God. many will not agree with what i say, and yet many more will not understand. is it not true that the world around us is the object of our prejudices and predispositions? is there some other source of opinion that can create in us an outlook, a worldview? i think not. God made the world, he put us in the world, and it is through our reaction to the world that we form opinions and attach connotations. God can work directly in us. but what we make of the gifts of logic, reason, and appreciation is exactly what is made of us. if it were not for this fact, we would all be dire cynics. however, despite the variety in environments and opinions, there is a conclusion meant to be drawn from the totality of our mortal experience. we cannot do this alone. at least, i can't.
by the way, here is a work in progress:

exacerbate (ex-as'-er-bate) - to make more violent, bitter, or severe

quote: take a step forward, lads. it will be easier that way. ~erskine childers, irish patriot at his execution by a firing squad

9-9-01 | annuit coeptus

so i was walking around the school the other day and i was just thinking to myself when suddenly i see xslade across the way. he comes up to me and informs me that i need to see something that he made after school. so i humor him. when the last bell rings i make my way to the computer lab where, sure enough, xslade is sitting in front of a monitor. i look at the screen and i see an image of a man sitting in a hand, pulling at lightning, and contorting reality. just then an idea strikes me. i look at my friend, and he preempts my thought by explaining that his license on xslade.com is about up. at this point i knew that our ideas were the same.
as you may or may not have figured out from the above ramblings, i have decided to add an art gallery to reticence.net. i have created some things for it, and you can also see xslade's picture there (yes! the very same!). here is the best part, though: you can send me your stuff (by clicking the mail link) and i will put it up in the gallery, too! just follow the directions on the gallery page. hopefully this will bring another form of creative outlet and attraction to reticence.net, even though it is already the best place on earth. right?

guys?

exacerbate (ex-as'-er-bate) - to make more violent, bitter, or severe

quote: take a step forward, lads. it will be easier that way. ~erskine childers, irish patriot at his execution by a firing squad

9-3-01 | fun with photoshop

what i wonder is why i waste my time when i should be doing my massive amounts of homework that are due tomorrow.

no word sorry

quote: even a stopped clock has the right time twice a day. ~orbital

8-30-01 | my heritage

so i have this u.s. history teacher. he's a nice guy. the thing is, he is moderately liberal to the point that i not only want to crawl into a hole in the earth and explode, but i would actually have less of that desire if he would just be far-left. no kidding. i think that if civil rights are that important to him he should go ahead and consider himself what he is - a liberal. we are discussing in history class the topic of slavery, particularly what apologies need to be made, if any. of course, he feels that we as whites owe it to the blacks around us to apologize for the sins of our fathers and blah dee blah blah blah. i think of it this way. we white people today have done nothing to harm black people today or even black people during the era of slavery. the only thing we have done is take action to make right the wrong that was done by previous whites. this is done by making education and occupation opportunities equal for all races. that is all that needs to be done. i am terribly sorry if the african american population is more impoverished on average than the caucasian population. there just needs to be a time of adjustment. we cannot justify making monetary reparations to the black population because of prior racism. how would that be fair to other minorities?
my point is, i feel terrible about what happened to those poor africans during the time of american slavery, but i feel no guilt for it. it was not a product of my influence or even society. what we need less of is the kind of education that instills young people with a sense of unmanageable guilt that is equally impossible to justify. i don't care to whom i am related. i am not a product of a bunch of self-righteous racist w.a.s.p.s that sold people to others to be beaten and dehumanized. if you want to tell me otherwise, you can save it. i am a product of the american nation. i am proud of my black predecessors that survived slavery. i am not proud of the europeans for enslaving them, but i am proud of them for spreading the religion they truly believed and for daring to cross the unfathomable expanse of the atlantic ocean to find their fortunes and freedom. i am not the son of bigotry. i am the proud son of mulatto slaves, black slaves, nordic traders, danish merchants, dutch merchants, spanish conquistadores, english settlers, and native american tribesmen. i count among my fathers equally the missionaries, the murderers, the jews, the africans, the french fur traders, the homeless veterans, the soldiers of fortune, the healers of natives, and the servants of the god that i in turn serve. i am sick of hearing that i am a part of a more corrupt race than others, especially from those that do not believe in race. so save it. i'm willing to listen, but just know that i will disregard any condemning word from a society that has less innocence than any individual.

recuse (ree-kyooz') - to disqualify oneself from participation to avoid a conflict of interest.

quote: the enemy of life is not death. the enemy of life is indifference. ~a. a. attanasio's wyvern

8-22-01 | no musing! don't care!

nowhere fast
will i ever get to where i'm going? will i ever follow through with what i had planned? i guess it's possible that i have been a bit distracted and the directions for me are a lot less in demand. will i ever get to where i'm going? if i do, will i know when i am there? if the wind blew me in the right direction would i even care? i would. i take a look around; it's evident the scene has changed. and there are times when i feel improved upon the past. then there are times when i can't seem to understand at all and yes it seems as though i'm going nowhere... really fast.
~incubus

anfractuous (an-frak'-tyu-es) - full of windings and intricate turns

quote: but i threw you the obvious just to see if there's more behind. eyes of a fallen angel. eyes of a tragedy ~a perfect circle

old news archive

webcounter service by digits.com