| 12-17-00 |
|
finally.
the day has come. last night i went out and bought a cable modem for $200. i am awaiting a $100 rebate on said modem. along with my purchase came a $50 gift certificate for hh gregg. and with that i bought a network hub and a few necessary cables. i will now have a computer network in my house with high-speed internet access. this page is going so up. in any case, i really appreciate all of the people who come here to read my thoughts. i will try to continue to try to keep them personal and pretend that i don't know all of the people who read this. maybe the idea is not so healthy, as i have many opinions with which people do not agree, but i believe that opinions are not meant to be harbored and hidden. if you have strong feelings about something, you should go ahead and say it. having said that, i would like to take this opportunity to announce that internet pornography is the most corrupt and useless exploitation of young people's low self-esteem and false sense of magnanimity. i firmly believe that the young people of today have no idea what true worth is. |
| negrophobe (nee'-gro-fobe) - one who hates or fears blacks |
| quote: the potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist. ~dwight d. eisenhower |
| 12-15-00 |
the sixth sense fine is the wine that is in love with us, the goodly bread we wait for from the oven, and woman whom we have possessed, at last, after we've suffered under yoke her own. but what to do if a red sunset freezes above a sky that's drowning in cold, where there is silence and unearthly peace, what can one do with the immortal ode? you can't eat it, or drink, or even kiss ... the moment fled, and next one now hovers, and we wring hands, but yet once more miss - we are condemned to miss and miss it over. just as a boy, forgetting games and friends, sometimes beholds the girls bath in a river and, knowing nothing of the loving trends, is yet tormented by a hidden fever; as once in time on overgrowing banks the moisten creature holed in despair of self impotence, feeling on its back wings - still unformed and very feeble pair, - so century after century - when, o christ? under the knife of liberal arts and nature the flesh breaks down and the spirit cries as they bear organs of the sixth sensation. ~nikolay gumilev translated by yevgeny bonver, october, 1995 |
| alacrity (uh-lak'-ri-tee) - cheerful willingness, readiness, or promptness |
| quote: where there is silence and unearthly peace, what can one do with the immortal ode? ~nikolay gumilev |
| 12-12-00 |
|
some rules:
the work you put in does not equal the work you put out.
you do realize that the entirety of our thought is flawed, and it reflects in our values.
~the reticent
|
| omphalopsychite {om-fal-op'-se-kite) - [lit. navel ponderer] one who adores the bellybutton; one who is extremely self-obsessed. |
| quote: if you would just stop and think about it, if we both fall, we will both hit the ground at the same time anyway. |
| 12-11-00 |
character of the happy warrior who is the happy warrior? who is he that every man in arms should wish to be? it is the generous spirit, who, when brought among the tasks of real life, hath wrought upon the plan that pleased his boyish thought: whose highest endeavors are an inward light that makes the path before him always bright: who, with a natural instinct to discern what knowledge can perform, is diligent to learn; abides by this resolve, and stops not there, but makes his moral being his primal care; who, doomed to go in company with pain, and fear, and bloodshed, miserable train! turns his necessity to glorious gain; in face of these doth exercise a power which is our human nature's highest dower; controls them and subdues, transmutes, bereaves of their bad influence, and their good receives: by objects, which might force the soul to abate her feeling, rendered more compassionate; is placable--because occasions rise so often that demand such sacrifice; more skillful in self-knowledge, even more pure, as tempted more; more able to endure, as more exposed to suffering and distress; thence, also, more alive to tenderness. 'tis he whose law is reason; who depends upon that law as on the best of friends; whence, in a state where men are tempted still to evil for a guard against worse ill, and what in act or quality is best doth seldom on a right foundation rest, he labors good on good to fix, and owes to virtue every triumph that he knows: who, if he rise to station of command, rises by open means; and there will stand on honorable terms, or else retire, and in himself possess his own desire; who comprehends the trust, and to the same keeps faithful with a singleness of aim; and therefore does not stoop, nor lie in wait for wealth, or honors, or for worldly state; whom they must follow; on whose head must fall, like showers of manna, if they come at all: whose powers whed round him in the common strife, or mild concerns of ordinary life, a constant influence, a peculiar grace; but who, if he be called upon to face some awful moment to which heaven has joined great issues, good or bad for human kind, is happy as a lover; and attired with sudden brightness, like a man inspired; and, through the heat of conflict, keeps the law in calmness made, and sees what he foresaw; or if an unexpected call succeed, come when it will, is equal to the need: he who, though thus endued as with a sense and faculty for storm and turbulence, is yet a soul whose master-bias leans to homefelt pleasures and the gentle scenes; sweet image! which, wheresoe'er he be, are at his heart; and such fidelity it is his darling passion to approve; more brave for this, that he hath much to love. 'tis, finally, the man, who, lifted high, conspicuous object in a nation's eye, or left unthought-of in obscurity,-- who, with a toward or untoward lot, prosperous or adverse, to his wish or not-- plays, in the many games of life, that one where what he most doth value must be won: whom neither shape of danger can dismay, nor thought of tender happiness betray; who, not content that former worth stand fast, looks forward, perservering to the last, from well to better, daily self-surpassed: who, whether praise of him must walk the earth for ever, and to noble deeds give birth, or he must fall, to sleep without his fame, and leave a dead unprofitable name-- finds comfort in himself and in his cause; and, while the mortal mist is gathering, draws his breath in confidence of heaven's applause. this is the happy warrior; this is he that every man of arms should wish to be. ~william wordsworththat poem is for the families of the soldiers in the united states military. if gore is elected president, i apologize for not reaching enough people's reason. the reticent |
| extemporaneous (ex-tem-por-ay'-nee-is) - made, done, or spoken without any preparation; unpremeditated; offhand |
| quote: from childhood's hour i have not seen as others saw. i have not been as others were. i could not bring my passions from a common spring. ~edgar allan poe's alone |
| 12-9-00 |
| i had a very interesting thought today as i neared the end to the book from which i have taken today's quote. we all have problems, that is understood. why do we compare our problems to each other? why is it that one person deserves our attention because of his problem, and when another person has a worse problem it is them that we comfort. as illustrated in the book, a boy finds out that his emotional problems are due to some form of childhood trauma at the same time that his sister is preparing to leave for college. she feels so completely terrible for being extremely worried about what college life will be like while her brother is just getting out of the hospital with a mental disorder. this boy, however tainted, is probably the least selfish person about whom i have ever read. the only thing he can think -- the thing that helps him come to terms with the fact that his health is deteriorating -- is that there is no reason for her to be angry at herself. yes, he may have very big problems, but that does not mean that she should not be worried about college. she should attend to her problems as necessity requires. this very much goes against the common belief that you should "suck it up" because "someone always has it worse." this is not to say that the statement is not true but that you cannot fully attend to the needs of others if your needs are not being seen to. and people will argue with me, and people will say, "oh what a wretched product of society," and "look what the media is doing to this boy's values," but has anyone ever stopped to consider that it is a biblical command to pull the plank from your own eye before removing the splinter from your brother's? the fact that someone else's problems are worse than yours does not make your problems go away. the only reason anyone would even hold to that frame of mind is because the person with the larger problems is too selfish to consider that we all have lives with which to deal and that he does not deserve any attention that one may freely give to him out of love or care. people expect too much. |
| causal (kaw'-sul) - of a cause or causes; being or involving a cause; relating to cause and effect; expressing a cause or reason. |
| quote: we accept the love we think we deserve. ~steve chbosky's the perks of being a wallflower |
| 12-6-00 |
all i want day after day your home life's a wreck the powers that be just breathe down your neck you get no respect you get no relief you gotta speak up and yell out your piece so back off your rules back off your jive cause i'm sick of not living to stay alive leave me alone i'm not asking a lot i just don't want to be controlled that's all i want all i want how many times is it gonna take till someone around you hears what you say you've tried being cool you feel like a lie you've played by their rules now it's their turn to try so back off your rules back off your jive cause i'm sick of not living to stay alive leave me alone i'm not asking a lot i just don't want to be controlled that's all i want all i want i said it before i'll say it again if you could just listen then it might make sense the offspring (ixnay on the hombre) |
| syntopicon (sin-tow'-pih-kahn) - an organized book of reference containing topical essays and including references and cross-references for each topic. |
| quote: nil sapientia odiosius acumine nimio. [nothing is more hateful to wisdom than too much cleverness] ~seneca |
| 12-4-00 |
| either i am crazy or my generation is plagued by an extreme lack of culture. even historical background. it is somewhat important that you know who machiavelli is, and if you don't, i would suggest looking up information on him. most of the people i know have never read shakespeare. another overwhelming majority seems to be under the impression that edgar allan poe was either only a poet or only and author. these same people ask me why i always read such "dark" literature. allow me to clarify: the majority of poe's works are in no way depressing or morbid. edgar allan poe is one of the most humorous authors whose works i have ever read. i have a plea to my peers: crack a book! i cannot express how much i appreciate those of my acquaintances with whom i may discuss a book. the writings of our predecessors used to be common knowledge. that is not to say that we should not pay attention to the new arts, but we should be discerning. metallica is talented. limp bizket is not. christina aguilera is a good singer. britney spears is not. these may just be opinions, but they are sound enough in that i pay attention to tecnique as a manifestation of talent. i do not like christina aguilera's music, but she is talented. i like listening to nirvana, but their kurt cobain's talent was not fully exemplified by his music. it is not a matter of opinion. it is a matter of fact. be discerning. |
| harlequin (har'-li-kin) [french: harlequin, arlequin < old french: hierlekin, hellequin - "demon"] - a traditional comic character in pantomime who wears a mask, checkered tights, and carries a wand or scepter. |
| quote: through it all my mind still wanders to the one who touched my soul. though her road leads away, she's still my true love, i could believe. ~the offspring |